One Star Pound. Optimized voice mail manipulation.

I love this article, not just for the geeky calculation of how much cell phone companies make annually by adding in the 15 second instructions to leave a voice mail, but also because it uses D.O.T. D.O.T are Desi Optimization Techniques. Many (not all) of my desi friends love to optimize their lives, their chores, their spending, their time, to make for a seemingly smarter way of life.


  • Walking to and waiting at the optimal spot on a subway platform so that when you get out, the exit is right there. The time saved from walking to the exit at the destination adds up over the course of the year.
  • Finding the optimal driving / walking path to work everyday.
  • Figuring out whether to buy a monthly pass, a weekly pass, or an unlimited pass for travel by working out the optimal number of trips required to break even.

Now desis are not the only ones who optimize, obviously, but I know a very high percentage of desis who do. It’s ingrained into us to get around the system, or use the system to its fullest.

Anyway, enough generalizations. Here’s David Pogue’s optimized voice mail pain reliever. Perhaps D.O.T also stands for David’s Optimized Techniques. But he does claim to have gotten it from another source. That source might very well be a desi.

How to Bypass Stupid Voicemail Instructions


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