Occasionally, I come across these very creative, very funny Amazon.com reviews. Here are some critically acclaimed reviews (all real) for 2 game changing products:
1. Uranium Ore (yes, available on Amazon)
Great Product, Poor Packaging, By Patrick J. McGovern
I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.
The Traveler’s Friend By Shady Ave Reader (Arlington, VA)
Whenever I fly I always pack a can of this wonder stuff in each piece of my luggage. As we all know, so many bags look alike. How often do you get to your hotel, only to find you have walked away with the wrong bag, and are forced to wear a stranger’s underwear for the rest of the trip? We’ve all been there right? So when that confusing luggage starts whirling around the baggage claim carousel I just whip out my Geiger Counter and let the uranium go to work for me. I merely wait for those comforting clicks (and after longer flights look for the glowing hot spot) and I know I have found my bags. Occasionally airlines lose my bags (yes, it does happen people). But whenever I fill out that claim form, and let them know my uranium is missing – well I tell you, they literally SPRING into action. They’ll track down that errant bag faster than you can say “Chernobyl.”
And I cannot tell you how many new friends I have made in TSA and Customs since I’ve adopted this sure-fire system. Nothing brightens their day quite like finding a traveler with potentially fissionable material. Throw away those gaudy rainbow bag straps forever and step into the atomic age. It’s no longer just uranium, it’s my-ranium. Thanks Amazon!
2. Hutzler 571 Banana slicer
GREAT Gift, By Uncle Pookie
Once I figured out I had to peel the banana before using – it works much better.Ordering one for my nephew who’s in the air force in California. He’s been using an old slinky to slice his banana’s. He should really enjoy this product!
A military endorsement, By HappyHubby
I have served in the US Army for over 12 years. I can say that there is technology being used by the military that is rarely seen in the civilian sector. Once in a while, however, an amazing product is released by the DoD for civilian use. The 571B is one of those products. Although once called the M571B Tactical Banana Slicer (TBS)V1, they have declassified it for public use. I am glad to see this product on the market today but I will warn you now, this is a CIVILIAN model and not designed for field use!
Finally! A way to slice bananas!, By N. Krumpe (Ohio)
Gone are the days of biting off slice-sized chunks of banana and spitting them onto a serving tray. At long last there is a saliva-free way of slicing bananas. Thank you Hutzler!
Next on my wish list: a kitchen tool for dividing frozen water into cube-sized chunks